Self-Love

Christine Renée
March 30, 2020

Self-Love is the ultimate Hero’s journey.  As we embark upon the world seeking self-love through external accomplishments, relationships or the acquisition of wealth or fame, we find that none of these items really fills our void.  It’s an inside job.  What we hope to acquire externally, we find can only be discovered by looking inward and seeing the beauty and perfection of who we are: a unique manifestation of God’s perfection manifest in flesh and blood.  We don’t normally think of ourselves in this manner, but I absolutely believe it to be true.

It’s interesting that finding self-love should become such a major accomplishment in life for most of us, because I’m certain that we are all born with an ample supply of self-love.  So what happened to it?  I think our parents, in their noble attempt to socialize, domesticate and control our behavior somehow cause us to plant the seed within ourselves that we are not lovable; therefore, we conclude that we have no business loving ourselves.  Now I don’t really think that this is most parents’ intent, but the result is often unaffected by the intention.  I used to believe that this was wrong or unfortunate, to say the least.  Why couldn’t we just stay in that self-love state for our entire lives?  What really is the purpose of having self-love, losing self-love and then seeking it out again and eventually finding it again—at least that’s the hope that we find it again?

Well, it’s the journey!  We are moved, challenged and impacted by the journey of rediscovering our self-love.  We experience the folly of seeking self-love through the validation, approval or love of another.  We often romanticize that finding that “perfect love” outside of ourselves will again restore us to wholeness, but that never seems to work out—at least in my experience.  We have to find it within.  Others can support us or cheer us on, but it’s our work.  For me, self-love has meant living as my true, authentic self; for me, it has meant claiming my role as a woman and courageously proclaiming that “I am a transgender woman and I am proud of myself and my journey!”  I have also made peace with the fact that no one in the whole world may ever truly understand me or why this was so important to me.  But in the end, it’s not their job to like me; it’s my job.  Could I have done it in an easier and more straightforward manner?  I’m certain of it.  But then that’s really not the point.  Sometimes you want the most direct route and sometimes you want the scenic route.  Clearly, in this life I have chosen the scenic route.